Widow | Definition of Widow by Merriam-Webster
When you're dating a widower, you're entering an area of dating What to Say to a Girl on Tinder: 6 Examples and Tips . Here are 10 tips for dating a widower you should know when starting your relationship: Spillman says this can come from his former in-laws as well as any children and even friends. noun. two people who are married or involved in a romantic relationship with each other noun. a woman who is divorced a man who stays at home cleaning the house, looking after children etc while his wife or partner goes out to work. In many cases, young children are also involved, forcing widows to push their Nothing could ever match the relationship Aaron and I had. be victims, we were going to be survivors and this loss was not going to define us.
For example, women carry more a burden than men and are less willing to want to go through this again. A study has sought to show that women are more likely to yearn for their late husband if he were to be taken away suddenly. Men on the other hand tend to be more likely to long for their late wife if she were to die after suffering a long, terminal illness.
For example, without a wife there, he is probably more likely to not watch what he eats like he would if she were there. Instead of having to make something himself, it is more of a convenience just to order take-out. Instead, women are typically more known to lose weight due to lack of eating. This is likely to be caused as a side effect of depression. Superstitious beliefs against widows[ edit ] See also: This often requires having sex with someone.
Those refusing to be cleansed risk getting beaten by superstitious villagers, who may also harm the woman's children. It is argued that this notion arose from the idea that if a husband dies, the woman may have performed witchcraft against him.
Widow inheritance Widow inheritance also known as bride inheritance is a cultural and social practice whereby a widow is required to marry a male relative of her late husband, often his brother. Hinduism[ edit ] Until the early 19th century it was considered honourable in some parts of India for a Hindu widow to immolate herself on her late husband's funeral pyre. This custom, called satiwas outlawed in in British India and again in in independent India by the Sati Prevention Actwhich made it illegal to support, glorify or attempt to commit sati.
Support of sati, including coercing or forcing someone to commit sati, can be punished by death sentence or life imprisonment, while glorifying sati is punishable with one to seven years in prison. Even if they did not commit suicide, Hindu widows were traditionally prohibited from remarrying. The Hindu Widows' Remarriage Act ofenacted in response to the campaign of the reformer Pandit Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar legalized widow remarriage and provided legal safeguards against loss of certain forms of inheritance for remarrying a Hindu widow,  though, under the Act, the widow forsook any inheritance due her from her deceased husband.
She could no longer wear a red dot sindur on her forehead and was forbidden to wear wedding jewellery. She was expected to walk barefoot. As one grieving mother in DeFrain's study 18 reported, "I was an open, throbbing wound, and he wanted to have sex.
It was very hard for me to understand that he was also in pain and that he felt our closeness would be healing. In relationships lacking a pattern of stable communication, help from friends, relatives, or mental health professionals may be needed to facilitate mutual understanding.
Another potential complication involves the discrepancy between a parent's real feelings for his or her child and the feelings he or she believes should exist. As with any human relationship, feelings for a child are marked by ambivalence. But as Raphael 57 points out, "societal attitudes strongly suggest that all parents must be perfectly loving, and all [children] are perfectly lovable. Parents who depend heavily on a child for need-fulfillment can also experience complicated responses.
Some women with negative selfconcepts may be able to stabilize an acceptable sense of self only by being "good mothers.
A death in this type of case, especially of an only child or of a child who had been unconsciously singled out to "care for" the mother, will disturb the mother's view of herself. For a parent whose relationship with a child had added meaning because of the parent's painful past, death brings an additional strain.
In cases where the parent used the relationship with the child to rework relationship conflicts from his or her own childhood, the child's death may be experienced as the loss not only of a son or daughter, but of some other relationship from the past as well.
Parents may also feel particularly threatened by the sense of vulnerability and helplessness associated with a child's death. A feeling expressed by a significant number of parents in the study by DeFrain et al. When a child dies, parents realize the limits of their protective powers and may feel haunted by this realization.
When children who have significant roles in existing parental conflict die, the bereavement process may take a pathologic course. Orbach 50 conceptualized one mother's unresolved grief as follows: The advisability of having another child soon after a child's death is controversial.
In a study of six replacement children in psychotherapy, Cain and Cain 11 found that "the parents' relationship with the new, substitute child [was] virtually smothered by the image of the lost child. Lewis 40 warns that replacement pregnancies can be used to deny the fact of the first child's death and may interrupt grieving. Poznanski 55 has observed clinically that the gradual giving up of a dead child prepares parents to "reinvest their energies in other relationships.
While a number of clinicians e. Being treated as a replacement is certainly apt to be burdensome to a child, but waiting until there is recovery may not be the solution either, especially since it is often observed that grieving for a lost child never entirely ends. In their study of life events in 2, persons matched for demo graphic characteristics to U.
Despite the relative frequency and universality of the event, very little research has been done in this area. In contemporary Western society, the loss of a parent in adulthood is not expected to produce serious effects, although some studies have shown a higher tendency to thoughts of suicide, an increased rate of attempted suicide, and higher rates of clinical depression.
Empirical data regarding continuing effects of parental loss experienced during childhood are discussed in the next chapter. In a study of 35 persons seeking treatment following the death of a parent, compared with 37 field subjects who had also lost a parent but who had not sought treatment, Horowitz et al.
When the second parent dies, some adults may mourn the loss of having "parents. They had families, jobs, and daily responsibilities which allowed little time to dwell upon the deceased parent. In most cases, attachment feelings have for some time been di rected toward other figures, such as mates and children. Such feelings, although briefly redirected toward parents following their deaths, usually turn back toward current figures after a relatively short time. The death of a parent may have many meanings for an adult child.
Under 50 and widowed: How these five women are getting through their grief
For some, who perceived their mothers and fathers as caretakers, providers of praise, and permission-givers even after the parents had to be physically cared for themselves, the death may mean the loss of security. A subtle role change often occurs when an adult child's parent dies. The death is often experienced as a "developmental push," propelling the adult into the next stage of life. It is well known anecdotally that many adults, upon the loss of their parents, suddenly feel the weight of responsibility as the oldest generation in the family.
This, coupled with the awareness that there are no longer parents to fall back on, may effect a more mature stance in parentally bereaved adults who no longer think of themselves as children. Presumably, this type of loss has been ignored because it is viewed as having less impact than the death of a spouse, child, or parent. In most cases, adult siblings no longer live together and they may not even have much social contact.
Nevertheless, it is rare to find adult siblings who have completely severed ties with one another. As in other types of bereavement, the quality of the preexisting relationship with the deceased is likely to color an individual's perception and experience of the loss. The seeds of the sibling relationship are planted in childhood, but the same characteristics that were salient then continue to affect the nature of the adult tie.
In an exploratory study of adult sibling relationships, Ross and Milgram 60 found that shared childhood experiences and critical life events including parental deaths influence the level of sibling closeness in adult life. Geographical proximity can increase either closeness or distance, depending on other factors, but complete lack of closeness is unusual. Sibling rivalry, a variable that may contribute to postdeath feelings of guilt, was found to continue throughout life in varying degrees of intensity, with rivalrous feelings peaking during early adult years.
In addition, sibling relationships assume great importance among the elderly, probably making sibling loss in old age a particularly significant event. Some of Bank and Kahn's 3 observations regarding childhood bereavement could also apply to adult sibling ties. For example, they noted that sibling death may be difficult to resolve if previous identification with the deceased sibling was too close or fused, or if it was too polarized and rejecting. Although the intensity of such closeness or hostility would probably be attenuated by the time siblings reach adulthood, such feelings could complicate grief reactions.
Another factor that may influence the response to sibling loss is the cause of death. A surviving sibling may find it more difficult to accept a loss if the sister or brother died of an illness to which the survivor may also be genetically predisposed or be a carrier, which would place the bereaved's children at risk. Anxiety following a sibling's death may be particularly acute among the elderly if it exacerbates an already present fear of one's own impending death.
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Bank and Kahn 3 assert that, regardless of age, death of a sibling forces brothers and sisters to reorganize their roles and relationships to one another and to their parents. Under certain circumstances, a death can jolt surviving siblings into becoming more alert, sensitive, and concerned—particularly if they conclude that they could have prevented the death had they been more caring. Death of "the most responsible" sibling can force survivors to face their need to contribute to their parents' well-being now that the deceased sibling no longer assumes this role.
As with formerly traditional wives who can mature through the bereavement experience, siblings who had previously considered themselves less capable can grow through this imposed need to become a caretaker.
All these types of bereavement are important and merit comparative study. In this report, however, only suicide will be discussed as an example of an especially difficult loss. It is estimated that more than 27, people commit suicide in the United States each year. Men are three times more likely than women to commit suicide, and whites are almost twice as likely as blacks.
Even given this conservative figure, however, suicide leaves in its wake a sizable number of survivors who must deal with a complex set of feelings and social problems. Survivors of suicide have long been thought to be at greater risk for physical and mental health problems than individuals who are bereaved from other causes of death.
Indeed, as discussed in Chapter 2there is some evidence to suggest increased mortality among the widowed whose spouses committed suicide. There also is good evidence that children whose parent committed suicide are at risk for enduring adverse consequences and for suicide itself Chapter 5. While the death of a close relative by any cause may leave the survivor with feelings of abandonment and rejection that may be irrational, the feeling of rejection following suicide is almost universal.
As one survivor put it: And, as is the fate of most scapegoats, the victim is usually one of their own members and frequently the one least able to bear the added burden. The surviving spouse, parents, or even child may be blamed for not seeing the signs of the impending suicide or for not meeting the needs of the deceased. Bereaved individuals also often blame themselves for the death, resulting in what is often called "survivor guilt. Survivors may question what they did to add to the deceased's stress or may wonder whether they could have foreseen and stopped the act.
As suicide researcher Henslin 28 points out, "When one can exercise control over events and in so doing prevent harm to others, our culture demands that it is one's responsibility to do so. Therefore, if one could have acted to have prevented the suicide, one feels that he or she should have done so.
Menninger 46 has clinically observed that a typical response is "overwhelming bitterness" at having failed in the task of keeping the vulnerable one alive coupled with a sense of relief that the ordeal is finally over.
Children, especially, who have been warned that they are "upsetting Mommy" or accused by the parent of "driving me crazy" are especially vulnerable to feelings of guilt following a suicide.
In Bowlby's 7 clinical experience, repeated threats often leave the survivor frightened and frustrated, finally wishing that the other person would just "go ahead and do it.
Feelings of anger and relief are generally unanticipated and misunderstood under the circumstances and so may lead to a sense of shame and a denial of their existence. Finally, survivors may feel anxious after the death—worried that they may mimic the deceased's self-destructive act. The nature and intensity of the survivor's reactions will depend largely on cultural factors, the prior relationship with the deceased, the age and physical condition of the deceased, the survivor's individual personality characteristics, and the nature of the death.
Henslin 28 has found that, in some ways, suicide shares with accidental death the qualities of "suddenness, unexpectedness, and violence.
Reactions to Particular Types of Bereavement - Bereavement - NCBI Bookshelf
For example, in the case of a terminal illness, especially among cancer patients, the sick person may have made a clear decision to abbreviate a life of pain. Communications before the death or suicide notes that blame the survivors directly may place those left behind at even higher risk for problems with guilt and shame. Some clinical observers infer that many suicides are motivated largely by the hostile intent of producing problems, especially guilt, for the family.
In a study of suicide notes, Jacobs 32 described two types that clearly made the suicide a hostile act. In one, there is an attempt to hide the intent by claiming that the suicide is aimed at "relieving" or "freeing" the survivor, whereas the other is overtly hostile.
Following suicide, denial is frequently used to mask feelings of guilt, rage, relief, and shame. Resnik, 59 in a study of nine families in which an adolescent child committed suicide, found that this denial may take the form of hostility towards the medical examiner, police, or anyone who calls the death a "suicide.
In his research, Warren 73 found that some survivors created a "family myth," a rationalization of the true nature of the death, that is used not only for the outside world, but also for the family itself. These forms of denial serve a definite purpose for the bereaved. As Augenbraun and Neuringer 2 have observed, "if the survivor does not accept the possibility that the deceased took his own life, he can avoid facing the notion that the suicidal person willfully abandoned him," allowing him to avoid the pain associated with the deliberateness of the death.
A decision to call suicide an "accident" or to attribute it to an illness is often quite conscious, however, and is sometimes told to "protect" children from the truth. Complicity by health care personnel aids this denial, although, as discussed in Chapter 5fabrications can frighten and confuse children who may already know the real cause of death or sense that what they have been told is untrue. This undermines confidence in adults and reinforces the idea that suicide is a valid source of shame.
A common fear among survivors concerns the "heritage of insanity," leading people to wonder whether others in the family are now "doomed" to kill themselves someday. Indeed, there are data that show a far higher than chance incidence of prior suicide in families of individuals who commit suicide.
This feeling of inevitability is usually unconscious, becoming more manifest as the [survivor's] age approximates that of the parent at the time of the suicide. The very fact that the taboo was broken by someone close may serve to legitimize the act, perhaps suggesting to the survivor that he or she will be vulnerable when overwhelmed later in life. In summary, there are many interacting factors that influence the response to suicide.
Feelings of being rejected, guilty, responsible, and socially stigmatized appear to hamper the resolution of bereavement. The Social Stigma of Suicide In many cultures, the social stigma of suicide has historical roots.
The early Greeks, believing that those who committed suicide must have been greatly wronged to have wanted to die, considered their ghosts to be extremely revengeful, dangerous, and frightening. Suicide has also been illegal in many places, including the United States.
Most modem Western civilizations no longer adhere to such beliefs and practices, but suicide is still regarded by many to be a moral rather than a mental health issue. Roman Catholics, regarding suicide as a mortal sin, used to forbid memorial mass and last sacraments for a Catholic who died in this way and insurance companies continue to deny benefits to families of people who commit suicide within two years of buying life insurance.
These social stigmata compound the problems of suicide survivors. Whether from shame or anticipation of blame from others, people are often sensitive about and reluctant to discuss the event. Those who would usually be available for support following the death of someone close may find they are unable to comfort the survivor of a suicide.
Possibly threatened by the idea of being powerless to prevent a suicide, they may join in the search for a cause and may even blame the survivor for the death. This failure of the informal support system leaves many survivors socially isolated and dealing with their complex feelings and problems alone.
Some find that they can escape feeling ostracized and condemned only by moving, 12 but they are then faced with the isolation and insecurity of a new home and neighborhood that can make the bereavement process more difficult. Given these circumstances, the decision of some families to deny the fact of a suicide seems understandable.
Assisting Survivors of Suicide Survivors of suicide, more than any other bereaved group, may require some form of professional help. Based on his observations of families of adolescent suicides, Resnik 59 has found that "an early interview after the death is a therapeutic and cathartic experience" that allows the interviewer to establish rapport before defenses have been established. This allows him to provide appropriate subsequent help as the grief work progresses.
In her clinical experience, Silverman 65 has found that suicide survivors are often initially wary of those who offer help. They are generally so isolated by the experience, however, that they may need more formal opportunities to ventilate their feelings and more reassurance than other bereaved persons.
In recent years, mutual support groups, such as "Survivors of Suicide" and "Seasons," have been developed to bring together survivors of suicides to clarify their understandings of the loss and to find ways of dealing with the often confusing and traumatic aftermath. Augenbraun and Neuringer 2 have found that "there is little need for therapy [when] the previous relationship between suicide and survivor was positive, minimally ambivalent, and where the fact of the suicide can be ascribed to circumstances outside the control of the survivor.
Research Issues As with so much of bereavement research, what is known about suicide survivors comes primarily from clinical case reports of small numbers of patients in treatment. The reports have not systematically examined and controlled for demographic heterogeneity of the sample, time course following suicide, possible psychiatric disorders in family members, or differences in the intensity, duration, and symptomatology of the bereavement.
Yet these clinical accounts can provide the basis for further systematic investigation. Both clinical cases and systematic investigations are needed.
Unusual methodological problems create particular difficulties in designing systematic studies of bereavement associated with suicide.
Ideally, suicide bereavement should be compared with bereavement following deaths that share some of the same characteristics in order to know of any unique contributions of suicide as distinct from some of its attributes. For example, suicide is a sudden death that should be compared with bereavement following other sudden deaths such as motor vehicle fatalities.Football Widow meaning and pronunciation
As a "volitional" death, suicide is more similar to drinking oneself to death cirrhosis or smoking oneself to death after heart disease has been discovered than it is to deaths caused by conditions over which individuals have no control. And comparisons of survivors of other "socially unacceptable" deaths, such as Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome AIDSmight permit the effects of social stigma and suicide to be separated. In addition, the effects of suicide in different types of relationships— such as parents-to-child, sibling, conjugal, and child-to-parent—should be studied.
Further research is also needed on the meanings and responses to different types of suicides, for example drug overdoses in adolescents or suicide among the terminally ill and elderly. More information on the coping styles of suicide survivors could help others deal with the loss through suicide of someone close.
Comparative studies of all these variations and characteristics of suicide are difficult, however, because of the relative infrequency of the event. As pointed out in Chapter 2studies of relatively rare events require very large samples.
More data are needed on the response to loss of various types of relationships, and under various conditions of death. Much attention has been paid to responses to conjugal bereavement in adults, but there is relatively little information on other types of losses, such as the death of siblings and parents.
As the average age at death continues to rise and as medical technology allows the prolongation of lives that previously would have ended naturally, an increasing number of people will have to deal with issues raised by elderly and ailing parents, including the thorny issues surrounding assisted suicide. Responses to loss under all these circumstances deserve exploration in order to provide appropriate assistance to the bereaved. Aspects of pathological grief and mourning.
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Widow - Wikipedia
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