Four signs you might need to end a dating relationship | Articles | NewSpring Church
Healthy relationships are central to recovery for romance, relationship, and sex more about who you are, appreciate all the good that God has created in you. I could go on, and if you're a part of almost any kind of Christian community, between healthy and unhealthy Christian dating relationships. The answer is in knowing if it's a godly relationship or not. Here are some sure signs on how to tell if your friendship is indeed a God ordained friendship.
You care more about the other person than he or she does about you. This often leads to confusion and emotional pain. A good, loving relationship of any type will be beneficial and respectful for each person 1 Corinthians Your boyfriend or girlfriend is an addict to anything — and is unwilling to change.
If your significant other pays more attention to a smartphone than to you, it may be an indicator that he or she is addicted to technology.
Addictions add strain to any relationship. Our selfish desires are fueled by what we pay most attention to Matthew 6: Unless one develops ways to combat the addiction and works to get healthy, those addictions often take higher priority than the significant other. What your boyfriend or girlfriend needs more than a relationship with you is a growing relationship with Jesus.
Pray for that person like you would a brother or sister. Invite them to church. When we unlock others from a past they cannot correct, we free them to become all they can become, and we free our relationships to become all they can becomes as well. Security is a rare commodity in our world. Often people come from such insecure childhoods they can only hope that their adult life will include a relationship that allows them to rest in the arms of someone who really cares.
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So much of life is lived on the edge of risk, we feel an overwhelming need for at least one relationship to make us feel safe. When we shift from trying to use others to satisfy our security needs to trying to meet the security needs of others, we find ourselves in a new dimension. We are focusing on their needs, not ours.
We are filling their doubts and fears with the reassurance of our consistent behavior. We calm their fears by being reliable. We become, in a word, loving: That is the kind of love that drives out fear and provides genuine security. In a secure environment, a person is free to open up and be vulnerable.
It is wonderful to be vulnerable, to do an emotional free fall and have someone there to catch you.
5 Signs That You Have a Healthy Relationship | Christian News on Christian Today
That delightful taste of vulnerability enables you to open up even more, discover more about who you are, appreciate all the good that God has created in you. In a relationship characterized by fear, just the opposite happens. There is a need to build up a wall of defensiveness.
If you do not protect yourself, after all, you will be violated, robbed of your identity, controlled, or smothered. The dynamics of defensiveness lead to death rather than to life and growth. There is no way to build a lasting, healthy relationship on a foundation of dishonesty. Honesty must be at the core of a relationship; there is no substitute for it. It is fashionable in our day to paper over unpleasant truth. We deceive those we love, rationalizing that keeping secrets is really for their good.
Virtually all addictions are maintained under the cover of some sort of deception, which eventually is woven into a vast tapestry of lies and cover-ups. Dishonesty is a very hard habit to break. A healthy relationship is one where two people can enjoy the trip together, despite all the colorful and sometimes difficult experiences that might come with it.
Marriage is for a long time, and most secondary qualities will either pass away or change, but friendship will carry a couple through to the end.
There is interdependence — not independence or dependence. A lot of psycho-talk these days is about boundaries and maintaining your independence. This is a key component to emotional and spiritual maturity, but it is only a part of the picture. At the same time, we are made for community ultimately to be part of the communion of the saintsand so we start now in the way we connect with others.
There are appropriate amounts of connection that go along with each type of relationship, but ultimately marriage is the one that includes a full gift of self to the other. This reality includes the mystery of maintaining your unique identity and at the same time forming a new type of identity as a married couple. There is a sense of connection that is appropriate beyond independence; we call this interdependence. The relationship is built on trust. If the relationship is built on a friendship as mentioned above, trust is naturally included.
This means you can share your secrets with your partner; you know he or she will give reverence to your vulnerability, and you give the same. There is no question of lying, cheating, or in any way consciously hurting the other person. You feel free to talk about anything: You are free to be yourself. You have realistic expectations.
The fact of the matter is that we are perfected in and through our vocations, not before we enter into them. The vow of marriage is meant to turn us into saints, so how can we expect to meet one before we are married? Mistakes will be made, and feelings will be hurt. The Church knows this, and that is why there are significant marital graces that flow through the sacrament of Matrimony to aid couples in their journey to holiness.
In the meantime, it is healthy to have realistic expectations and not hold onto those wounds from the past. Be merciful as your Father in heaven is merciful see Luke 6: While it is healthy to want the best for your partner regarding virtue and goodness, it is just as important to forgive when he or she misses the mark.
You listen to your family. In his Letter to Families, St. John Paul II called on couples to be actively involved in the marriage discernment of their children. While not every family lives up to this ideal, parents often know you better than you know yourself.