PARENT CHILD RELATIONS - Online Adolescents
Parent-child conflict increases as children move into adolescence. the changes that define adolescence can lead to conflict in parent-adolescent relationships. Young people move from a social setting in which they are the oldest and most. Results: Findings provided evidence of direct effects of parent-adolescent conflict on Parent-adolescent conflict explained 8% of the variance and together During this period, the young person is focusing more on how he/she is seen by . The role of parent-child relationships on adolescents' psychological health has . The growth of a child into an adolescent, particularly the first child in a family, is seen.
Authoritative parents are both responsive and demanding; they are firm, but they discipline with love and affection, rather than powerand they are likely to explain rules and expectations to their children instead of simply asserting them. Authoritarian parents are also highly demanding, but they are not less responsive; authoritarian parents tend to be strict disciplinarians, frequently relying on physical punishment and the withdrawal of affection to shape their child's behavior.
Indulgent parents are responsive, but not especially demanding; they have few expectations of their children and impose little discipline. Disengaged parents are neither responsive nor demanding.
They may be neglectful or unaware of the child's needs for affection and discipline. What makes a parent more likely to use one style as opposed to another? Ultimately, the parenting style a parent employs is shaped by many factors: In addition, systematic comparisons of parenting practices among families living in different circumstances teach us that parents in different cultures, from different social classes, and from different ethnic groups rear their children differently.
Nevertheless, research has shown that aspects of children's behavior and psychological development are linked to the style of parenting with which they have been raised. Generally speaking, preschoolers with authoritative parents tend to be curious about new situations, focused and skilled at playself-reliant, self-controlled, and cheerful. Children who are routinely treated in an authoritarian way tend to be moody, unhappy, fearful, withdrawn, unspontaneous, and irritable.
Children of permissive parents tend to be low in both social responsibility and independence, but they are usually more cheerful than the conflicted and irritable children of authoritarian parents. Finally, children whose parents are disengaged tend to have a higher proportion of psychological difficulties than other youngsters.
School age During the elementary school years, the child becomes increasingly interested in peers, but this should not be taken as a sign of disinterest in the parent-child relationship.
Rather, with the natural broadening of psychosocial and cognitive abilities, the child's social world expands to include more people and settings beyond the home environment. The parent-child relationship continues to remain the most important influence on the child's development.
Generally speaking, children whose parents are both responsive and demanding continue to thrive psychologically and socially during the middle childhood years. The parenting styles that first become apparent during the preschool years continue to influence development across middle childhood.
Over the course of childhood, parents' styles tend to remain the same, and their effects on the child quite similar. Children of authoritative parents tend to be socially competent, responsible, successful in school, and high in self-esteem. The authoritarian style, with its perfectionismrigidity, and harsh discipline, continues to affect children adversely, with these youngsters generally rated lower than their peers in appropriate social assertiveness, cognitive ability, competence, and self-esteem, but higher in aggression.
Children of permissive parents also tend to be more aggressive than their peers, but also more impulsive, less self-reliant, and less responsible. Children raised in disengaged homes continue to have the most difficulty, and show more behavior problems. The natural tendency is to think of the parent-child relationship as a one-way street, with the parent influencing the child. But in actuality the relationship is reciprocal and bi-directional.
During the school years especially, the parent-child relationship is influenced not only by the child's parents but by the child.6 Types of Childhood Abuse
In most families, patterns of interaction between parent and child are well established by the elementary school years. Overly harsh parenting, for example, often leads to aggressive behavior in children, leading children to join antisocial peer groups, further heightening their aggressiveness.
This, in turn, may provoke harsher parenting, leading to further aggressiveness in the child, and so on. Authoritative parenting, in contrast, helps children develop self-reliance and social competencewhich, of course, makes it easier for parents to rear their child in an authoritative, reasoned fashion. Continued authoritativeness on the part of the parent contributes to increased competence in the child, and so on.
Rather than trying to solve the "which came first" puzzle—the parenting or the child's characteristics—it is more useful to think of parenting as a process and the parent-child relationship as one part of an intricate social system. Much research has examined how the child's development is affected by such factors as divorceremarriage, and parental especially, maternal employment. As a rule, these studies show that the quality of the parent-child relationship is a more important influence on the child's psychological development than changes in the structure or composition of the household.
Generally speaking, parenting that is responsive and demanding is associated with healthier child development regardless of the parent's marital status or employment situation. If changes in the parent's marital status or work life disrupt the parent-child relationship, however, short-term effects on the child's behavior are likely to be seen. One goal of professionals who work with families under stress is to help them re-establish healthy patterns of parent-child interaction.
Adolescence Early adolescence marks an important turning point in the parent-child relationship. As the child enters adolescence, the biological, cognitive, and emotional changes of the period spark transformations in the parent-child relationship.
In many families, the transition into adolescence coincides with the parent's transition into mid-life, and this, too, may introduce additional challenges into the family system that spill over into the parent-child relationship.
Early adolescence is a time during which the child's urges for independence may challenge parents' authority, as the young adolescent strives to establish a sense of emotional autonomy, or individuation. And much like toddlerhood, many parents find early adolescence to be a difficult period requiring a fair amount of adaptation.
But, as is also the case with toddlerhood, research shows that most families are able to cope with these adaptational demands successfully. Adolescents fare best, and their family relationships are happiest, in households in which parents are both supportive and are accepting of the child's needs for more psychological independence.
Although the significance of peer relationships grows during adolescence, the parent-child relationship maintains its importance for the psychological development of the child. As in previous eras, authoritative parenting—parenting that combines warmth and firmness— seems to have the most positive impact on the youngster's development.
Research shows that over time, adolescents who have been reared authoritatively continue to show more success in school, better psychological development, and fewer behavior problems than their counterparts from other types of homes. Youngsters whose parents are disengaged continue to show the most difficulty.
It is widely assumed that conflict between parents and children is an inherent feature of family life in adolescence, but systematic research on the so-called "generation gap" indicates that the phenomenon has been exaggerated in the popular media.
Early adolescence may be a time of heightened bickering and somewhat diminished closeness in the parent-child relationship, but most disagreements between parents and young teenagers are over fairly mundane matters, and most teenagers and parents agree on the essentials. Nevertheless, the increased frequency with which these squabbles occur may take its toll on parents' mental healthespecially on the mothers'.
This period appears to be temporary, however, and most parents and adolescents are able to establish a comfortable working relationship by the beginning of high school.
Indeed, by late adolescence most children report feeling as close to their parents as they did during elementary school.
Parent-Child Relations in Adolescence
Adults Many adults maintain an active relationship with their parents. As adults, they can now relate to each other as equals, although the feeling of one being the parent and the other a "child" even though the child is now an adult endures in some relationships. Increasingly, adult children are sandwiched between the demands of caring for their own children and their aging parents, who may need more assistance as they get older and physically weaker.
In some families, the adult children take care of their parents, much in the same way that their parents took care of them when they were younger. It is important for teens to know that plans made at 18 years of age aren't written in stone.
Parent-Child Relations in Adolescence
And it's perfectly normal to have a plan in place, but make changes as they go through college or move through their first "real" job. As they are getting older and moving toward young adulthood, it is natural for teens to start having romantic, loving feelings toward another person. It is easier for teens to have a healthy romantic relationship if they have been able to develop good solid friendships during their childhoods. Those abilities that are developed by being involved in close friendships are ones that also play a role in romantic relationships.
Showing interest in another person, doing things they like to do, finding enjoyment in activities done together — all these are important aspects of a first romantic relationship. Parents should keep in mind that while they may be thinking of their teen's first romantic relationship as temporary or fleeting or be amused by it, their teenager is most likely viewing it very seriously.
It is possible to be genuinely in love with someone when you're an adolescent, and if the relationship breaks up or has difficulties associated with it, it is every bit as real to the adolescent as it would be to an adult.
It is common knowledge that most teens become sexually active at some point during adolescence. Parents need to discuss with their adolescent their own values regarding sexuality and also be aware of their adolescent's attitude toward sexual issues. It is difficult sometimes for parents who feel strongly that they don't want their teen to have sexual relations to realize that their child may go ahead and have sexual relations anyway. There are many problems that teenagers can experience as a result of unprotected sex, such as pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases, and they need to be aware of contraception options.
Parents and teenagers need to discuss these topics and be clear on the fact that if teenagers are going to engage in adult behavior with regard to sexuality, they need to also engage in responsible adult behavior with regard to preventing pregnancy or STDs.
Parents should discuss the emotional aspects of sexual relationships with their teens also. They should discuss with their teens ways to feel close and intimate with another person without having to have a sexual relationship.
Other developmental tasks associated with adolescence, according to Havighurst, are: Adolescence is a time of physiological revolution. Teenagers' bodies are changing, sometimes in uncomfortable ways, and this can be difficult to deal with. Very often teenagers feel like they are all hands and feet, and to some extent, they are. Certain parts of the body, such as hands, feet and the nose, develop more rapidly than other parts of the body, and this can lead to feelings of awkwardness for teenagers.
At some point adolescents need to come to terms with their changing bodies and accept the changes as evidence that they are moving toward a new maturity. As adolescents get to the point of finishing high school and moving off to college or into a job after graduation, they need to achieve some measure of physical and emotional independence from parents. While most teenagers do some grumbling about parents' rules and curfews, there is some security in knowing that parents are there as a sort of "safety net" if problems arise.
Part of the parents' role here is to facilitate that "breaking away" that the adolescent needs to do and not try to have complete control over the teen's life and not try to cling to their teen and keep the teen dependent on the parent.
Throughout childhood and adolescence, parents are influencing their children's values, through their own attitudes and behaviors. These influences, along with other environmental influences, help adolescents formulate their own value system. All of us have our own value system, which helps guide our behavior and how we handle ourselves in various situations. Toward the end of adolescence, the young person should be thinking about what sort of life they want to live and how they will go about making that happen.
If they have had positive role models, opportunities to deal with a variety of situations and make decisions, and deal with successes and failures in an appropriate way, they are well on their way to being morally and socially responsible adults.
Most parents spend a great deal of time trying to instill in their children the rules of society - common courtesies, how to treat other people's property, how to make appropriate decisions - with the hope that their children will behave in a socially responsible way. It is somewhat expected that adolescence is a time for concentration on self, but as the adolescent moves into young adulthood, that selfishness should be abating and be replaced by more concern for others and ability to widen one's horizons beyond just one's own concerns.
Concerns and Worries of Adolescents Adolescence is a time when kids want to appear sure of themselves and very together and fit in with their peers. The reality, however, is that every teenager has concerns and worries that are associated with being an adolescent.
Studies have shown that many of the following are concerns that adolescents have. Teenagers don't want to appear unsure of themselves. One characteristic of adolescence is feeling that "everyone is looking at me. Kids can be pretty merciless with teasing. Parents can help here by being supportive when their teen is having difficulties with awkwardness and try to help the teen keep the situation in perspective.
Depression and mood swings need to be looked at in context, however. Teenagers with low self esteem, who have parents who are highly critical and rejecting and who live with much negativity are more likely to experience severe depression or engage in negative behaviors than teenagers whose parents are supportive and use an authoritative style of parenting.
It is sometimes difficult to determine the difference between normal adolescent mood swings and depression. Parents need to be aware of what is happening with their teen and keep lines of communication open. If a teen is having a hard time with moodiness or depression, parents may want to look into professional help to help their teen deal with this.
Teenagers sometimes experience loneliness, much the same as adults do. It is important for teens to understand lonely feelings and develop ways to cope with them. Because adolescence is a time when the young person is naturally focused quite a lot on self, emotions and feelings are often magnified. For many people who are experiencing loneliness, it can be helpful to get involved in some sort of project or activity that focuses on or helps someone else. It is also important to note that sometimes the friends that an adolescent has may move on to interests that the teen doesn't share.
This can cause loneliness and a feeling of being left out. Here again parents can be supportive of their teen when these feelings occur, and help them explore ways to not feel so lonely. It may be something as simple as thinking about and discussing what sort of interests the teen has that he or she may not have explored before and then encouraging and helping them to pursue those.
One young man I know decided as a teenager to learn to play the guitar. He has often said that the guitar helped him over lots of lonely times and has provided him with countless hours of pleasure in his life. The important thing is for the adolescent to learn how to manage lonely or other unpleasant or unwelcome feelings. Early in adolescence, boys in particular have some awkward years, when they are shorter than the girls in their class, their hands and feet are growing more rapidly than the rest of their bodies, and their voices are changing.
These things can cause the teenager to feel unattractive or awkward. Teenagers are sometimes embarrassed by the things their bodies do that they have no control over pimples, unwanted erections. They also sometimes feel that they are the only person who experiences insecurities about their looks. It is important for teens to understand that any worries they have about their physical appearance are probably more noticeable to them than to others, and that a lot of physical change will occur in their bodies between the onset of puberty and their late teens.
Basic hygiene is also important; parents should make sure that their teen has access to products they need in order to be clean and hygienic. As with toddlerhood, adolescence is a time when parents need to balance firmness with flexibility, control with letting go.
There is nothing wrong with having a teenager having a curfew when they go out, and there is nothing wrong with parents having rules about where the teenager can go parties only if adults will be there, for example. But parents need to be flexible enough to discuss with their teen changes in curfews and rules as their teen gets older and closer to young adulthood. One way teenagers learn to be more responsible in an adult way is to give them more responsibility for their lives.
Later curfews and more privileges are in order as the teen moves through the teen years; if they abuse their privileges, then they can be curtailed.
But when they handle themselves responsibly and appropriately, they should be allowed more and more independence. When they have problems with a boyfriend or girlfriend, it is as important to them as it would be to an older person. Parents need to recognize that and be supportive of their teens if they are going through a difficult time with a relationship. Sometimes a story from the parent's own life can be helpful if offered at the right time and in the right way.
If relationship problems are happening because of sexual issues, parents need to ensure that their teen has access to information that they need in order to make appropriate sexual decisions for themselves. When there is parental conflict in the home, or a situation where one parent moves away from the home, teenagers sometimes feel compelled to take on an adult role in the family.
Marital conflicts often mean more responsibility for the adolescent and can cause much stress for the teen. When parents fight, teenagers worry. If there are marital conflicts, parents need to focus on the way their children are handling things, as well as dealing with their own personal problems.
If parents are going through a contentious divorce, it is often a good idea for the family to go to some sort of family counseling. Children are often ignored during parental conflict, and adolescents often are ignored the most, as parents very often think of them as being old enough to deal with things on their own. Concerns and Worries of Parents of Adolescents 1 Effect of peer pressure on their kids.
While parents and their behaviors have a great deal of influence on adolescents, peers and their behavior also have a strong impact on teens. Research has shown that the strongest influence on whether or not a teen uses drugs is the teen's peers. As mentioned earlier, teens need to fit in with their peer group; sometimes engaging in risky behaviors is the way to be "one of the crowd. Parents realize this and worry about what happens when their teens are with friends. It is natural for adolescents to become more private and guarded with parents as they move through their teens.
Parents very often complain that one day they had this pre-adolescent who was talkative and filled them in on things and the next day had a teenager who never talked to them and wouldn't communicate about anything. Parents need to keep in mind that this is not generally a personal thing; it is simply the nature of adolescence.
Even though teenagers can be uncommunicative with parents, parents should still take opportunities to talk with their teenager, and even more important, listen to their teen when the teen does talk with them. Sometimes parents complain that their teenager never talks to them, but when the teen actually does sit down to talk with the parent, the parent goes into "lecture mode" or ends up doing more talking than the teen.
As mentioned earlier, adolescence is similar to toddlerhood in this regard.
It is always a balancing game and one that parents struggle with. Parents should discuss together even parents who are not married what their values and goals are regarding their adolescent.
Using that information as a guide, they can decide how much independence is appropriate for their child. We often talk about "consistency" in parenting, and this makes us think that we need to do the exact same thing for each child.