The 2 Biggest Sources Of Conflict In Your Long-Distance Relationship | Thought Catalog
Sometimes, people in long-distance relationships notice after a while that. Long distance relationships come with their own unique challenges, And if that means going days without communicating, then so be it. Long-distance relationships require a lot of communication to keep them going. other, especially if you have to go for long periods of time without doing so.
This is one of the hardest long distance relationship problems to fix. Talk about this risk with your partner. And here are some things that will help prevent that from happening: Both agreeing that you want the distance to be temporary, and having a close-the-gap goal in mind.
However, the opposite can also be true. Distance can also enable poor communication patterns to become established. For starters, especially when one or both of you is busy, it can become easy not to invest in connecting deeply with your partner. In-depth conversations can become fewer and farther in between. It can become habitual to mostly talk about how your day was, or keep the conversation fairly superficial and brief.
Try talking only a couple of times a week for a while so that you can recharge. Then, when you do talk, focus.
Jealousy Feeling a little jealous now and again is not unusual in a relationship, particularly when you are separated from your loved one. A little jealousy can even spark fresh attraction and a new appreciation for your partner. However, while a single candle can illuminate a room, a blaze can burn it to the ground. Uncontrolled jealousy can lead to a destructive combination of suspicion, possessiveness, insecurity, anger, and shame.
Controlling jealousy is not easy, but it can be done. Take a look at this article for more on the nuts and bolts of how to get a handle on overcoming jealousy: Jumping in the deep end Growing apart is a particular pitfall for couples that were established before they started doing long distance.
Couples who like I did start their relationship across distance face almost the opposite problem—the temptation to become too emotionally intimate, too quickly. In some ways, getting to know someone via email and phone calls can help your relationship.
The distance can force you to talk about all sorts of things you might not have discussed if doing other things or, um, each other was a realistic option.How to deal with LDR problems: Communication Problems
On the other hand, falling in love long distance is a risky business. Remember that the rules of long distance relationships should be the same as those posted at public pools: Walk, do not run. And no diving in headfirst. Take your time getting to know each other. Approaching your new relationship in a measured manner may yield benefits for years to come. Miscommunications Miscommunications and misunderstandings happen frequently in relationships. They happen when you share the same house with someone.
Luckily for me, Mike is not easily offended or hurt or, for that matter, deterred. Another time, Mike and I were discussing something that I was very worried about. This makes effective communication harder. When you feel confused or hurt, remember that you may have misunderstood what your partner said or meant! Ask questions to clarify, and really try to respond thoughtfully rather than just react.
Make Your Long Distance Relationship Easy & Fun | Modern Love Long Distance
Beyond any specific incident, learn the natural similarities and differences in your communication styles, and how each of you tends to react to frustration, disappointment, or conflict.
Check out this article series on managing conflict in long distance relationships. Stonewalling People sometimes email me about their long distance relationship and say something like this: What should I do? It is using silence as a weapon or an escape. It is controlling the situation by simply refusing to engage.
Distance makes this particularly easy to do, and it can drive your long distance partner crazy with frustration, second-guessing, and self-doubt. If you catch yourself stonewalling, ask yourself why.
Conversation and communication problems in long-distance relationships
Are you trying to punish or hurt the other person? Or are you mostly taking what looks like the easy way out by avoiding complicated emotions or discussions? Whatever the answer is, stop it.
When your partner does get back in touch, tell them how hurt and frustrated it made you feel to get the silent treatment. Tell them how you wish they had dealt with the situation instead of disengaging. Becoming possessive Another issue that often pops up in my inbox goes something like this: There is such a thing as overexposure. The second problem that can happen from forcing communication is that one or both people can begin to resent feeling obligated to the other person all of the time.
The best way to go is to make all communication optional. Both of you can opt out at any time. The trick is to not take these opt outs personally when they happen — after all, your partner is not your slave. If your partner spontaneously feels as though she only wants to talk a few times a week instead of a few times a day, that is both the cause AND the effect of her feeling more distant. And easier said than done.
Especially when plane flights are involved. And for there to be hope, there must be some possibility that you two will one day be together and achieve your Happily Ever After TM. Without that shared vision of Happily Ever After, everything else will quickly begin to feel meaningless. Remember, love is not enough. You both need to have life visions that are aligned, shared values and mutual interests. In my second relationship, my girlfriend took a job working in Africa.
Meanwhile, I toiled away in the US with no money trying to get my first internet business off the ground.
Larry and Carla
All hope for making it work was removed from the equation and we soon broke up. My current girlfriend is Brazilian. We began dating while I was living there in I left after a few months and we kept in touch. But we had it because we both knew it was necessary if we were going to continue. Six months later, I made the commitment to move back down to Brazil and stay there with her until we could figure other plans out.
Long distance relationships can only work if both partners put their money where their genitals are. OK, that sounded weird, but what I mean is that you have to make the logistical, life-rearranging commitment to one another for it to have any chance of working. Is it worth it? This is the question I get most often from readers. Because even if the relationship goes down like a Malaysian Airlines flight, 5 you will have learned a lot about yourself, about intimacy, and about commitment in the process.
Sure, you know their personality and their attractive qualities. The way he leaves a mess in the bathroom and then denies making it. Her tendency to talk through movies.
- 5 Signs You Need to End Your Long-Distance Relationship
- What's the point of a long distance relationship if you're not communicating regularly?
- The 2 Biggest Sources Of Conflict In Your Long-Distance Relationship
His tendency to get easily offended at comments about his appearance. This is where true intimacy exists. In the constricted personal space between two people who have spent way, way, way too much time around each other. This intimacy is sometimes dispassionate. Distance prevents this constricted intimacy from ever forming in a meaningful way. But few people know that there are some pretty clear signals to know if a relationship is going to work or not.
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