Finding Love: Empowering Tools to Find the Relationship You Want
Dec 12, A long-term, loving relationship is more than enjoyable, it gives you emotional support and strength during life's hard times. Whether you're. I have been in a friendship/love affair with my girlfriend in the last 2 years and she is bipolar. In the last few months, this understanding and loving relationship. In other words, to paraphrase a Native American teaching, a wolf of love and a since the time of the first tool-making hominids – and with the development of.
In the last few months, this understanding and loving relationship has turned into a tense and hostile one with constant arguments.
I have tried to be supportive by attending support group meetings, taking a great deal of workload off of her plate, helping her financially…all to no avail. To add to the emotional injury, I just recently discovered that she is sleeping with another man. I really love her and want to forgive. Will my loyalty be enough to keep the love there in the relationship?
Love or Understanding? - Relationship Problems ?EUR" Tools to Build and Maintain a Healthy Marriage
She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual s. Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses. No correspondence takes place. Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen.
That said, it appears that when people are in love, among other neurological activities, two parts of their brain really get activated. They are called the caudate nucleus and the tegmentum. The caudate is a reward center of the brain, and the tegmentum is a region of the brain stem that sends dopamine to it; dopamine tracks how rewarding something is. In effect, being in love rewards the pleasure centers in your brain, which then crave whatever it was that was so rewarding — in other words, your beloved.
Those reward centers are the same ones that light up when people win the lottery. And being rejected in love activates a part of the brain called the insula, which is the same region that lights up when we are in physical pain.
So we are doubly motivated to hold fast to the object of our love: Interestingly, when people are in lust, rather than in love, different systems of the brain get activated, notably the hypothalamus and the amygdala. The hypothalamus regulates drives like hunger and thirst. The amygdala handles emotional reactivity, and both it and the hypothalamus are involved in arousal of the organism and readiness for action.
While these systems are centrally involved in fight-or-flight responses to stress, they also get engaged in energizing activities that feel emotionally positive like cheering on your favorite team — or fantasizing about your sweetheart. That said, dopamine — increased in love — triggers testosterone production, which is a major factor in the sex drive of both men and women.
So, in short, we fall in love, and among other neural circuits and psychological complexities, the same reward chemicals involved in drug addiction lead us to crave our beloved and want sex with him or her.
Sorry to be mechanistic here, but you get the idea.5 Relationship Turnaround Tools
The intended result, in the evolutionary playbook, is, of course, babies. Oxytocin Oxytocin promotes bonding between mothers and children, and between mates, so they work together to keep those kids alive.