A 23 Point Love Contract To Bulletproof Your Relationship - The Good Men Project
Learn about the research on commitment in romantic relationships—and find out what Take time to decide who you are attracted to, reduce your wish list to the. Jordan Gray says that you can massively improve your relationship by With: commit, commitment, improve your relationship, insecurities. List three or four things you would like to do in the next few weeks. You have to be committed to making the relationship work, and part of that.
I commit to taking full responsibility for the circumstances in my love life and my life in general and I commit to supporting others in taking full responsibility for their lives.
I commit to blaming others, or myself, for what is wrong in my love life or my life in general. I commit to curiosity, regarding every relationship in my life past, present or future as an opportunity to learn and grow in self-awareness. I commit to seeing all people, and especially my current and former lovers, as allies that are perfectly suited to help me learn the most important things for my growth.
I commit to seeing all people, and especially my current or former lovers, as obstacles and impediments to getting what I want most.
I commit to saying what is true for me and to being a person to whom others can express themselves with candor. I commit to withholding my truth i. I commit to the masterful practice of integrity, including acknowledging all key feelings, expressing the unarguable truth and keeping my agreements.
I commit to feeling my feelings all the way through to completion. They come and I locate them in my body, then I breathe, move and vocalize them so they release all the way through. In fact, it should be in first place over everything else in your life, including your children, work, hobbies, or extended family.
So the goal here must be a mutual one. You both must embrace the relationship as the centerpiece of your life. How do you do that? It's a commitment you have to reinforce every single day in all of your decisions and actions.
It requires constant recalibration based on the needs of each partner and what is going on in your lives. What do we need to do today to nurture it? But rather than this inter-dependence weakening you, it strengthens you because each person feels safe and cherished.
You know you have each other's backs, and you create a space of reassurance and protection that keeps the relationship healthy and strong. The first step toward reaching this goal is making a series of agreements together that reinforce your care and protection of the relationship.
Relationship goal 3- Have daily connection time.
An important daily goal for your relationship is spending one-on-one time together to reconnect. If one or both of you work outside of the home, it's especially important to carve out this time without distractions or interruptions from children or otherwise. Try to do this both in the morning before the workday begins and in the evening before you are pulled away to chores and responsibilities.
10 Of The Best Relationship Goals To Nurture Intimacy
The most important element of this connection time is that you are fully present for each other. This means you aren't looking at your phone, doing a task, or watching television. You are fully focused on each other. This is not the time to work through conflict or discuss the relationship. It is a time for talking, sharing, embracing, and simply enjoying each other's company. Look in each other's eyes. Listen attentively as the other is talking. In the morning, you might share some time talking in bed before you get up or over a cup of coffee.
In the evening, you might take a walk together or send the kids outside to play while you sit and catch up on your day. This connection time doesn't need to be hours long. Even fifteen or twenty minutes is enough to reinforce how much you care about each other and the health of the relationship. Relationship goal 4- Communicate with kindness.
Committed relationship - Wikipedia
Relationship goal-setting must include the ways you communicate together. But have you ever noticed how couples can speak to each other with such cruelty and unkindness? They say things to each other that they'd never dream of saying to a casual acquaintance or even someone they don't like. When we feel hurt, angry, or frustrated, it's so easy to lash out and say hurtful things. Sometimes we employ passive-aggressive words and behaviors, using subtle digs, manipulation, or stonewalling to express how we feel.
Both overt and covert words and behaviors like these are deeply wounding, and over time they accumulate enough to cause serious problems in a relationship. You lose trust, mutual respect, and eventually love. Being kind doesn't mean you have to agree with each other or even feel loving during a challenging moment.
It does mean you agree to avoid attacking, insulting, or intentionally wounding each other. It means you speak forthrightly without using passive or manipulative behaviors.
It means you step away or count to ten when you feel like lashing out, knowing that you don't want to say or do something you'll later regret. We are all human, and of course, there will be times you fall short of your kindness goal. But make it a goal to apologize quickly, offer forgiveness quickly, and reset your kindness goal as soon as possible. Relationship goal 5- Embrace vulnerability.
Outline of relationships
Each partner enters a relationship with past baggage, insecurities, feelings of shame or guilt, and tenuous hopes and dreams. We have vulnerabilities that we want to hide from others so they don't think less of us. As trust and intimacy grow within a relationship, you share some of your vulnerabilities and inner pain with your partner.
You expose your soft underbelly in hopes of finding a place of safety and security where you can be yourself completely. This may interest you: Would you like to question your way to lasting love and intimacy? Mutual questioning is a powerful technique to draw out deeper emotions and desires and address potential areas of conflict before they disrupt your closeness.
The right questions inspire understanding, compassion, and action for positive change. Nothing is more wounding to a relationship than having your vulnerabilities disparaged, disregarded, or worse, thrown back in your face in order to make you feel bad about yourself.