Facing insecurities in a relationship

5 Ways to Stop Feeling Insecure in Your Relationships

facing insecurities in a relationship

Insecurity in a relationship can be difficult to handle, especially when your partner can't understand you and all you feel in love is confusing pain. Find out how to. Chronic insecurity is toxic to your relationships. You can learn to stop the sinking feeling of insecurity and regain your sense of well-being. Use these 7 tips to stop feeling insecure about your relationship.

We are told that technology and social media are giving us an inflated sense of self. In fact, there is one underlying emotion that overwhelmingly shapes our self-image and influences our behavior, and that is insecurity.

Insecurity vs. Intuition - How To Trust

A recent survey found that 60 percent of women experience hurtful, self-critical thoughts on a weekly basis. In their research, father-and-daughter psychologists Dr.

Getting Over Relationship Insecurity

What they found is that the most common self-critical thought people have toward themselves is that they are different — not in a positive sense, but in some negative, alienating way. Whether our self-esteem is high or low, one thing is clear; we are a generation that compares, evaluates and judges ourselves with great scrutiny. By understanding where this insecurity comes from, why we are driven to put ourselves down and how this viewpoint affects us, we can start to challenge and overcome the destructive inner critic that limits our lives.

Why am I so insecure?

How to Overcome Insecurity: Why Am I So Insecure?

There is an internal dialogue that accompanies our feelings of insecurity. As we grow up, we unconsciously adopt and integrate this pattern of destructive thoughts toward ourselves and others. The experiences we have with our influential early caretakers can be at the root of our insecurity as adults.

facing insecurities in a relationship

Imagine a child being yelled at by a parent. An intrusive parent can cause children to become introverted or self-reliant in ways that make them feel insecure or untrusting of others.

facing insecurities in a relationship

Simply because they were once in a relationship with someone who was abusive, dishonest, or who left them, they respond defensively to everyone else who gets close to them, even though these new relationships have been nothing but kind and supportive. If you carry old bricks from the failed relationships of your past to your present relationships, you will build the same flawed structures that fell apart before.

So if you suspect that you have been making unfair comparisons between your present relationships and a negative one from the past, take a moment and consciously reflect on the hurtful qualities of this old, negative relationship, and then think of all the ways your present relationships differ.

This small exercise will help you let go of the old bricks and remind you that past pains are not indicative of present possibilities. Inventing problems in our mind and then believing them is a clear path to self-sabotage. Too often we amuse ourselves with anxious predictions, deceive ourselves with negative thinking, and ultimately live in a state of hallucination about worst-case scenarios.

We overlook everything but the plain, downright, simple, honest truth. When you invent problems in your relationships, your relationships ultimately suffer.

Insecurity is often the culprit. The insecure passenger does not trust anyone else to drive.

Getting Over Relationship Insecurity | HuffPost Life

They feel out of control. They imagine that the driver is not paying attention. Or they may even fantasize that the slight jolting of the driver stepping on the breaks is a sign of doom via an impending collision. They freak themselves out by assuming that the visions they have invented in their mind represents reality.

Overcoming Insecurity in Relationships

What you need to realize is that there are normal idiosyncrasies to any relationship. There are ups and downs and mood changes, moments of affection and closeness and moments of friction. These ups and downs are normal. Wanting to be absolutely close and intimate all the time is like wanting to be a passenger in a car that has no driver.

Read The Road Less Traveled. Stop focusing on the negatives. Imperfection, however, is real and beautiful. The quality of the happiness between two people grows in direct proportion to their acceptance, and in inverse proportion to their intolerance and expectations.

No meaningful relationship will always work flawlessly all the time.

facing insecurities in a relationship

Being too black and white about the quality and health of a relationship spells trouble. There will always be difficulties present, but you can still focus on the good. What you need to do is look for signs of what is. Having an appreciation for how remarkable the people in your life are leads to good places — productive, fulfilling, peaceful places.