I pay all the bills in my relationship

i pay all the bills in my relationship

He threatened to divorce her unless she cut up all her credit cards and with your partner to notice that they're not paying their bills on time. Offer to pay for her but if she is really persistent about it then just split the bill. . All my relationships where I paid for nearly everything went south very quickly or . I have a good job and earn good money, while my boyfriend is We have been living together for two years, and I end up footing the bills. And most of all, they are super proud to have a partner who loves them for who they.

After the exam I will have to wait months for the results. It will likely take at least seven months to get an attorney position, perhaps longer given the state of the legal market.

I am beginning to think it is unfair for me to pay all my bills from my savings indefinitely. Am I wrong to feel this way? He is already paying for so much, but I also feel it is unfair to be in a position where I am going into the red every month, especially when I am contributing to the relationship in other ways by cooking and cleaning. I already feel uncomfortable being in a situation where I am financially reliant on another person, but I am more uncomfortable losing money every month.

Further, while I am confident in our commitment to each other, I recognize that, if the relationship fails, I will be kind of screwed.

i pay all the bills in my relationship

You were only in your LDR for a year before you moved. You could have continued for another six months, kept the job you had, and continued putting money aside to have once you moved.

It just seems to me that you were unhappy where you were and were a little over-eager to escape. I totally appreciate that. I, myself, was once in that position well, except for the undesirable city part; I really liked where I lived.

So, you know what I did? I got a better-paying job in my city, upped my freelance side work, and saved as much as I could over the course of another year so that I would have a little safety net when I moved to NYC.

And I communicated extensively with my boyfriend now husband about the game plan if it took longer for me to find a job than I anticipated. So, here you are: My moving here was a big step for me — for us — to make and I am so excited about our future together. But right now the present is stressing me out. I have a lot of work ahead of me to get my career going here. I underestimated how much money I would need to get me through this period and, while I watch savings dwindle, I am feeling more and more overwhelmed and stressed out.

Would your boyfriend expect you to pay him back at some point especially if you break up? What are your financial goals as a couple? I know it's an unusual arrangement to have a joint account for absolutely everything, but I think it works because he's generous to a fault.

There are times I feel I'm not pulling my weight these days, though in the past I've been the breadwinner. He's absolutely brilliant; he's never made me feel bad. It's been, "This is your bank account, this is your Switch card, you do what you need to do. I've really noticed that. I know if I said that to my husband, he would say, "Look, that's ridiculous. It's old-fashioned; a bit strange, definitely. When I discuss this sort of thing with my friends, there aren't many people like that.

i pay all the bills in my relationship

I don't think there are a lot of men who would say, "You haven't earned anything but go and treat yourself to shoes. She said every time she bought a cup of coffee or a lipstick from the joint account, she'd feel he was breathing down her neck. But our personality types make it quite a laid-back arrangement. I don't feel that's something I need. I won't live for the worst-case scenario. They have a seven-month-old son.

i pay all the bills in my relationship

We moved in together after a year, and everything was fine until we got a mortgage. I thought it would make sense if we had one account for all the bills that we could pay some money into, and then whatever we had left would be our own. So I got the forms for a joint account, and he never signed them.

They lay there for three years until I chucked them out.

What's mine is mine: 10 couples on how they arrange their finances | Money | The Guardian

I reminded him and he said I was nagging, so I stopped mentioning it. Since I got pregnant, he's bought our son one jumper and I've bought everything else; he hasn't paid me back. Both of us probably think we pay the bigger share, but I don't actually know who does. There's no system at all. I'm paying all the childcare at the moment and he just keeps saying, "Oh, I'll do it.

Recently I was trying to work out our exact outgoings, to see if we could afford for me to go freelance now I've had a baby; he promised to do his as well, but hasn't, and I'm back at work full time. We went to Relate and this came up. The counsellor said to him, "It's a form of control; you really need full financial disclosure. It's not the s. His boyfriend Toby, 28, is doing a PhD. They have been together for six years.

We don't do joint finances because Toby's too proud, and because I spend it all recklessly rather than save.

“My Boyfriend Should Pay All My Bills”

I pay for pretty much everything that we do. It's normal — I make much more money.


He always says things like, "Oh, I need to pay you back for this", and of course he never does. It doesn't matter, but it helps him feel I'm aware that he's grateful. He's got a credit card with his name on it, but it's my account, my current account.

Yes, I give him money sometimes. It depends how much he needs: Like any relationship, it's "What's mine is yours". Christopher Thomond for the Guardian Elizabeth, 59, and her husband Graham, 61, are retired teachers. We've been married more than 30 years. Since we moved in together, all our money has been each other's — we have a joint account.

What's mine is mine: 10 couples on how they arrange their finances

Everything is jointly owned. I am guided by the teachings of Jesus in terms of having a one-world perspective. We have a lot of creature comforts, but we don't value material possessions that much.

i pay all the bills in my relationship

At different times in our lives, my husband has worked, I've not; and I've worked and he hasn't — we see ourselves as one. The principle is to help each other, and that would include members of the wider family: Whenever we can, we donate to charity. I think it's about sharing. You have a responsibility to care for other people, because the way in which we survive is interdependent on a global scale.

It's about being mindful that what we have is not ours. You're going to laugh: I have a life plan based on an Excel document. It's got columns for monthly salary in, outgoings, savings and savings towards the mortgage. When my fiancee came to London and we got our own flat, we said let's build on this Excel document and adapt it for both our incomes. We worked out a system. We have separate accounts.

“My Boyfriend Should Pay All My Bills”

In terms of how much of the bills we each pay, I have split these in proportion to our salaries. I know it sounds very precise and mathematical, but it works. I suppose the whole point of being engaged is that it's a trial period to see how things would work out in married life. If she were earning more than me and if she paid more of the bills, from a male point of view I wouldn't feel comfortable.

There'd always be the dreaded conversation with the in-laws — her parents would be like, "Ah, well Her family is far better off than mine.

I've had to struggle to get money. A lot of my friends get help from their parents with mortgages, I wouldn't feel comfortable with that.

i pay all the bills in my relationship

To me, a proper couple shares everything. We're very much two individual people in a relationship and it's really difficult. My boyfriend wants it to be that his money is his and my money is mine, even though we have a five-year-old boy and we've been together seven years.

He also expects me to pay for our son's childcare and for half of all holidays.