Created To Be His Help Meet, by Debi Pearl - Love, Joy, Feminism
Created To Be His Help Meet is not entirely bad, of course, and Pearl offers several valuable insights. She and I agree that the Lord has created. I began my page-by-page review of Created To Be His Help Meet well over three years ago. I proposed the series in a September 18th, Created to be His Help Meet (MP3 CD): Discover how God can make your marriage glorious [Debi Pearl] on mephistolessiveur.info *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers.
Do you know who created you, and do you know he is the same God who expects you to freely give sex to your husband? She is a harsh, critical and angry person and this ugly tone pervades this book. Where is the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control that ought to mark the Christian, and especially the Christian mentor? Who would want their wife or their daughter or anyone else to be mentored by a harsh, graceless, angry person like Debi Pearl?
Foolish Counsel Much of what Pearl teaches in this book comes via answers to letters she has received. She consistently offers poor, even shocking, counsel in her return letters.
To one woman she says that if her husband sexually handles their children, that woman must call the authorities wise! Not only this, but she tells the wife that is she does this, it will certainly win her husband to the Lord so once he is released, they can get on with life. This is far too terse and has far too little nuance to be at all helpful. She advises this wife that instead of confronting her husband in any way, she should ooze sexuality and constantly seduce him in order to show him what he is giving up.
This will work, she says. Making an innocent child visit and pretend everything is okay with the man who tarnished and stole their innocence Don't bad mouth the man, but don't bring him jailbait either. And - okay, I do have one more - I grew tired of her using scare tactics to get the reader to do the right and in her mind "godly" thing by your husband.
He will have an affair if you don't do this.
Created to be His Helpmeet
He will leave you for someone else if you don't do that. I love God, and I love my husband and I serve both out of reverence for God because it is love that drives me, it is joy, it is security in my faith and in my God. I know he will take care of me and I desire Him above all else Having said all of this, I will say that I agree about serving, I agree we need to consider others before ourselves, and we especially need to consider our husbands above ourselves.
But I will have to leave the rest. My husband and I read this together, and he doesn't like it at all. He feels like women have been demoted and degraded to nothing when he believes his daughter and I to be glorious, wonderful, intelligent and worthy of godly advice. Women weren't created to be doormats - created for men, yes, but to complete them, not to be subservient - most of all created for God. Dan appreciates me most when I encourage him to think outside of himself, and he thanks me when I push him through laziness just like I appreciate his wisdom and insight and learn from his abandon and zest for life.
We were made for men because they are incomplete alone - they are perfectly capable of living by themselves and taking care of themselves, but what they need from us is REAL unconditional love, devotion, respect, honesty and to be and give what they cannot. My husband doesn't want me fearing him, and God wants my joy, not my fear of what will happen if I screw up next - that is the devil's playground.
They need a suitable partner, not a subservient one. One size does not fit all in marriage, as all people were made differently with unique gifts, abilities, talents and weaknesses. And I found many unbiblical errors. As a young married woman, I am pretty passionate about learning all I can about being a godly wife. I've had some great role models in my life and continue to seek for new mentors to pass on what they've learned. But, when I picked up a copy of this book, I was startled by the overwhelming bondage Debi Pearl attempts to thrust upon women.
Not only is this unbiblical, but it really is dangerous and brings women back under the yoke of bondage Christ died to set us free from. The title and synopsis of this book contain several assumptions which are neither presented nor defended in the book itself. This book is written to bring them back home. Regardless of how you began your marriage or how dark and lonely the path that has brought you to where you are now, I want you to know that it is possible today to have a marriage so good and so fulfilling that it can only be explained by a miracle.
According to the Pearls, all women are intended by God's will to marry. On page 38 she states: Nowhere in the Bible does God claim to have created all women for the sole purpose of being a help meet for a man. Additionally, the underlying theme is that being a wife is the only acceptable life and calling of a woman.
In the synopsis, women are assumed to be married. This narrows the will of God for a woman, allowing her to only be a wife.
Created To Be His Help Meet: A Compilation of Posts
This is in direct opposition to the words of the New Testament by the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7: There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: Women in scripture were sometimes recognized for leadership roles outside of their homes. Deborah is one of these Judgesalso Rahab Joshua 2, 6: For me, this was just really sad.
I love being married. I am definitely one of those people who is called to the ministry of marriage and can really serve the Lord better by being married. I love being a wife and wouldn't trade it for anything.
But I know that God did not create me solely to fulfill a man. God did not create me primarily for marriage. He created me for a love relationship with Himself first, to honor and glorify Him, and to serve Him. True, I do fulfill part of that calling to honor Him by being a wife, but only partially.
My role as a Christian woman is much bigger than just being married. I have a walk with God to follow, a Great Commission to fulfill, a life of ministry outside of the ministry of marriage. Imagine telling a woman who never married that she missed her only purpose in life.
- Created to be His Helpmeet – The book I didn’t want you to know I LOVED!!!
- Created to be His Help Meet
Can you imagine how devastating?! But that is exactly what Debi Pearl does. The following quotes are just a few that filled me personally with extreme sadness for any woman who listens to Debi Pearl. This is how God created you and it is your purpose for existing. Isaiah makes it crystal clear that we were ALL formed for God's glory. We don't exist suit the needs of men. Our lives are to honor and serve God, not fulfill our husband's dreams, and, although it is special and wonderful when we can, it is not our purpose for existing.
We do not exist to be sexual slaves, nor is that God's ultimate goal for us, nor do men alone have sexual needs. And upright single men are not less of "men" because the Lord has not brought them their wife yet. That statement alone causes serious issues for Paul According to Debi Pearl, a woman is always at fault when she is the object of a man's lust.
This is one of the most alarming points of the book. The first paragraph on page begins: This would tend to lead a woman to unhealthy extremes concerning her dress. If her sole purpose is to keep poor men from stumbling, she would avoid wearing anything attractive. She would dress in burlap sacks to keep men from lusting after her, and if she was exceptionally beautiful, she would just wear a burka.
But, alas, some poor fellow would be captured by her beautiful eyes and she would be responsible for another round of mental adultery!A Girl's "List" - Preparing To Be A Help Meet - Conversations
If a man could pervert his mind to the point that he imagines cleavage when he sees a woman's bare toes, a woman cannot be held responsible for making him stumble by wearing open-toed shoes! Pearl uses the story of David and Bathsheba on page Her lack of discretion cost her husband his life, his comrades-in-arms their lives, her baby son his life, and the integrity of one whom God upheld as a man after his own heart. God places all the blame squarely on David. The Bible clearly says: If Bathsheba was responsible in part or whole for David's actions, God could have told us of her correction.
A woman is responsible for the way that she dresses. She will surely answer to God for any evil motives. But, as men, we cannot blame a woman for our sinful thoughts. If her motives are pure and she seeks God's direction for the right way to dress, then what more does God expect? He does not expect a woman to change something right and wholesome based on whether or not a man can still manage to lust after her.
Created To Be His Helpmeet: Discovering the Dangers ~ Alicia A. Willis
I was blown away by some of Debi Pearl's quotes. Honestly, her view of men's sexuality is crude and low. Her entire book writes about men as if they are naturally some kind of beastly, fleshly sex addicts who cannot see a woman's natural, God-given shape without lusting or worse.
She gives a very disgusting example of a man who was once exposed to porn and, therefore, the poor fellow simply could not control his thoughts when he saw a Christian woman dressed in a short skirt page It is a section of the book I could not in any good conscience describe due to the pornographic nature of her descriptions of a lusting male.
Additionally, while her description of what presumably could happen to a man who sees a woman in a short skirt is not only disgusting, it's also physically impossible.
However, a young, unmarried woman reading this book would know no better and would be trapped into the lie that she is responsible for any sick and lewd thoughts of a man. The above lie in which a woman is somehow responsible for every thought of a man has provoked real-life rules I personally know of. These rules include no wet hair in the presence of a man, no open-toed shoes, no lettering of any kind of a shirt, and so forth--all designed because a man somewhere, in some place, had sick thoughts.
However, as my husband pointed out, this teaching would really require a woman to dress in a burka and wear sunglasses, lest any man should ever "stumble" by catching a glimpse of something that he might lust after.
Both men and women are responsible to be modest, but it is for a far purer, higher reason than the lie that men are sick, animalistic lusters who continually see woman as sex objects. Forgive me if I refuse to approve of a book that both gives a sick, low, and false impression of our wonderful brothers in Christ and binds women in guilt, legalism, and fear. Not only does she take the stance that men somehow have a greater sexual need than women a lie introduced to the church throughout various generationsbut she claims that we exist for the purpose of fulfilling them.
Therefore, if your man lusts after another woman, you are at fault for somehow not fulfilling him. And the other woman who was lusted after is also at fault. She even goes so far as to claim that women are solely responsible for all the sin of man. These men were not brought down by the women they loved. They were brought down by a lust and disobedience that was brought about by their own bad decisions, not women in general. Debi Pearl claims that a lack of sexual desire is actually a sin in her quote, "Hopefully, you didn't realize that your lack of sexual interest in your husband was sin, but you know now.