Created to be his help meet scripture

Created To be His Help Meet, Bible study Chapter one – Preparing To Be A Help Meet

created to be his help meet scripture

Created to Be His Help Meet, first published 10 years ago, has sold over how their marriages have been saved and enriched through these biblical truths. I didn't want anyone to know I absolutely loved Created to Be His Helpmeet by Debi There are 13 oils in the Bible, learn what they smelled like, what they were. Created to be His Help Meet has ratings and reviews. Melissa said: When I started this book, I did so with a day time bible study group and an.

Mar 09, Melissa rated it did not like it When I started this book, I did so with a day time bible study group and an open mind.

created to be his help meet scripture

Truly there are some helpful nuggets in here, but they were almost completely lost on me because by the middle of the book I had had enough of her self-righteous and harsh criticisms. There was a great lack of love for women in general, her sisters, in this book.

I am very hard to insult and my feelings don't get hurt easily, I am a lover of the truth and appreciate the need for the truth to be told, and somet When I started this book, I did so with a day time bible study group and an open mind. I am very hard to insult and my feelings don't get hurt easily, I am a lover of the truth and appreciate the need for the truth to be told, and sometimes we need to have someone to "shake" us out of our sin, but this was hard for me to read.

Everything is woman's fault. If there is a problem in your marriage, it's your fault. If your husband has a sex addiction it's because you aren't doing your your job. If he's "being a jerk", it's because you aren't setting the right tone in the home. Something that really bothers me is her abuse of the bible at times. She had said that David's sin of adultery would have been prevented if Bathsheba hadn't bathed on the roof Let's pretend that it wasn't the custom in those times to bathe on the roof, the only place that had privacy in homes those days.

I am not saying they she didn't bear any of the responsibility, because she did, but I am appalled at how that scenario was turned so that the Pearls could prove just how evil women are.

created to be his help meet scripture

Another thing that really bothered me was the twisting of Deborah. Certainly not God, for He had delivered the victory into the hands of a woman Jael because of Barak's ungodly response to Deborah's instruction! I don't know if his response "I will not go unless you are with me" is cowardly or scoffing her, I haven't figured that out, but it is obvious that God was displeased with BARAK, not Deborah.

Also, she is great at advising women to go to their husbands with their emotional needs and I wholeheartedly agree, but warns that spending too much time with women and getting close may result in you becoming a lesbian she didn't use that word, but she definitely alluded to it, I would get the direct quote but I threw the book away as soon as I was done.

Jesus said that the world would know who we are by our love for each other, and he didn't seem at all worried that a deep love for fellow sisters or brothers would become something unnatural perverted.

There was some advice that was given that absolutely scared me. One was advising women who were feeling pain during intercourse to suck it up meet your husband's needs Any pain during what is a normal bodily function means that there is something wrong, not that you need to deny yourself, merrily pretend there is nothing wrong and get through it.

Another thing that bothered me is a woman was confessing that her husband was breaking into cars and having her stand guard. Debi's advice was to call the cops and turn him in How about confessing herself since she was helping? These would be biblical and godly instructions. God places all the blame squarely on David. The Bible clearly says: If Bathsheba was responsible in part or whole for David's actions, God could have told us of her correction. A woman is responsible for the way that she dresses.

She will surely answer to God for any evil motives. But, as men, we cannot blame a woman for our sinful thoughts.

If her motives are pure and she seeks God's direction for the right way to dress, then what more does God expect? He does not expect a woman to change something right and wholesome based on whether or not a man can still manage to lust after her.

I was blown away by some of Debi Pearl's quotes. Honestly, her view of men's sexuality is crude and low. Her entire book writes about men as if they are naturally some kind of beastly, fleshly sex addicts who cannot see a woman's natural, God-given shape without lusting or worse. She gives a very disgusting example of a man who was once exposed to porn and, therefore, the poor fellow simply could not control his thoughts when he saw a Christian woman dressed in a short skirt page It is a section of the book I could not in any good conscience describe due to the pornographic nature of her descriptions of a lusting male.

Additionally, while her description of what presumably could happen to a man who sees a woman in a short skirt is not only disgusting, it's also physically impossible.

created to be his help meet scripture

However, a young, unmarried woman reading this book would know no better and would be trapped into the lie that she is responsible for any sick and lewd thoughts of a man. The above lie in which a woman is somehow responsible for every thought of a man has provoked real-life rules I personally know of.

These rules include no wet hair in the presence of a man, no open-toed shoes, no lettering of any kind of a shirt, and so forth--all designed because a man somewhere, in some place, had sick thoughts. However, as my husband pointed out, this teaching would really require a woman to dress in a burka and wear sunglasses, lest any man should ever "stumble" by catching a glimpse of something that he might lust after. Both men and women are responsible to be modest, but it is for a far purer, higher reason than the lie that men are sick, animalistic lusters who continually see woman as sex objects.

Forgive me if I refuse to approve of a book that both gives a sick, low, and false impression of our wonderful brothers in Christ and binds women in guilt, legalism, and fear. Not only does she take the stance that men somehow have a greater sexual need than women a lie introduced to the church throughout various generationsbut she claims that we exist for the purpose of fulfilling them.

Therefore, if your man lusts after another woman, you are at fault for somehow not fulfilling him. And the other woman who was lusted after is also at fault. She even goes so far as to claim that women are solely responsible for all the sin of man. These men were not brought down by the women they loved. They were brought down by a lust and disobedience that was brought about by their own bad decisions, not women in general.

Debi Pearl claims that a lack of sexual desire is actually a sin in her quote, "Hopefully, you didn't realize that your lack of sexual interest in your husband was sin, but you know now. Stress, sickness, change, hormones, and much, much more contribute to a lack of sexual desire. Yet, she ungraciously and unbiblically terms it "sin" for a woman to say no.

Apparently, it's his right to do whatever he wants. But a woman can never say no. This goes against everything the Bible teaches on marriage as a representation of Christ and His church, true charity, and what it means to mutually submit to each other.

She additionally teaches in page that women have no right to their own comfort. Their husband should total access to them even if they are in extreme pain. Another quote that blew me away was as follows: To do less is a grave error.

If you love your husband as God commands, you will always seek to give him pleasure. In so doing, you will fulfill your role as his suitable helper.

Created To Be His Help Meet - Tim Challies

I really thought it was about mutual love, mutual respect, friendship, strengthening each other for the ministry, and serving together in the ministry. Yes, sex plays a huge part of the marital relationship. But it's also mutual. Women have as real of needs as men. The mere idea that we exist to fulfill sexual needs is low and blasphemous to the God who created us for His pleasure--not man's.

Serving one's husband is a beautiful thing and, of course, is to be encouraged. However, it is never to be encouraged in the abusive level this book takes it. Marriage is meant for both man and woman to love, edify, honor, serve, and respect each other, not just women. One of the scariest issues of this book is Debi Pearl's take on abuse. They are known for expecting their wives to wait on them hand and foot. A Command Man does not want his wife involved in any project that prevents her from serving him Command Men have less tolerance, so they will often walk off and leave their clamoring wife before she has a chance to realize that she is even close to losing her marriage She is on call every minute of her day.

Her man wants to know where she is, what she is doing, and why she is doing it. He corrects her without thought. For better or for worse, it is his nature to control. However, Jesus did not categorize away sin by giving men different titles and thus making allowances for bullying or abuse.

Nowhere in Scripture are men given the right to demand submission or obedience. There is no place in Scripture that gives men the right to break their wife's spirit and curtail all liberty.

Created To Be His Helpmeet: Discovering the Dangers ~ Alicia A. Willis

Instead, we are to be heirs together of the grace of life and give honor to each other. Girls, if you meet a man who wants to control every aspect of your life, run. He is not a Mr. He is exhibiting sinful dominance, control, and the attitude of a tyrant--not a godly husband. Dominance and control are not attributes of a godly man in Scripture. There is a world of difference between a confident, God-fearing leader and a dynasty-minded tyrant.

But it gets worse.

  • Created to be His Help Meet
  • Created to be His Helpmeet

It is therefore important that you understand how to speak and conduct yourself in a way that will maintain your physical and emotional safety and ultimately win your husband. Michael Pearl weighs in on this issue and actually says the following: You are exhorted to respond as Jesus did.

When he was reviled and threatened, he suffered by committing himself to a higher judge who is righteous.

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Your husband will answer to God, and you must answer to God for how you respond to your husband, even when he causes you to suffer. If your husband is beating and raping you, you must respond by continued obedience as a martyr.

created to be his help meet scripture

Please, ladies, never believe the lie that God demands you suffer as some kind of martyr enduring abuse. That is not the heart of the God of the Bible.

There is no command in Scripture that imposes this upon women. God never commands women to remain in danger. There are many, many quotes commanding women to love, reverence, and stand by their man through his "troubles" of lust, adultery, and fornication. I'm sorry, but marriage is not a licence to enable sin.

Women were never meant to be enablers of sin, turning a blind eye to sins Jesus strictly forbids.

Created to be His Help Meet, Part 4

We as Christians are instructed to edify, exhort, disciple, and even discipline each other church discipline. We were instructed to obey God rather than man.

Ladies, you are never called to be an enabler of sin. So, a wife who sticks it out through abuse from her husband is more spiritual than the one who leaves because of abuse?! Judy's husband committed adultery against her many times, yet she did not leave her husband. Judy is held up as a wonderful example of a faithful, submissive wife. However, according to Scripture, fornication is grounds for divorce. There is nothing wrong if a woman chooses to stay with her husband, but there is no obligation for her to stay according to Scripture.

Sunny suffered various physical abuses including attempted murder before winning the heart of her husband. She chose to submit and love instead of leave, and her husband eventually came around. In both of these examples, Pearl fails to give a balanced view.

The wife who stays is seen as good and spiritual, but her rightful grounds for leaving are not given the same attention. A woman reading this book would be inclined to believe that she is a better woman for staying. However, a wife is permitted to leave her husband according to 1 Corinthians 7: There are times when a wife should leave her husband. There are times when she can remarry. Sometimes, a woman just needs to get out to protect herself or her children.

Created to be His Helpmeet – The book I didn’t want you to know I LOVED!!!

One is not necessarily a better wife for staying, nor less of a woman for leaving. Nor does the woman who stays have the promise that her husband will repent. Abusers are not rational people who just need extra respect in order to turn their hearts toward their victims. What if your husband molests your children? Debi Pearl admits you may call the police, but instructs women to take their children to see him in jail times a year page Apparently, the child will heal from sexual abuse by having the satisfaction of seeing his father in jail and will be able to forgive him.

If a man molests a child, he loses all rights to ever see them again. As far as I am concerned, he loses right to his own life, too. A child will NOT heal by visiting the man who molested them.

A child deserves the safety and healing of only being with those who love and honor them. It breaks my heart to think that a woman who calls herself a Christian would dare teach that children be exposed on a personal level to their molesters.

On the issue of spirituality, Debi Pearl states that women are unqualified to seek spiritual knowledge for themselves. On pageshe states: Remember now, she was a graduate of Bible college and had spent three years on the foreign field as a missionary. He will be your head, and you will follow him If she is not allowed to get theological insight from her own father, it is assumed that she should not get insight from any other sources apart from her husband.

created to be his help meet scripture

Is she permitted to reference a Bible commentary in her personal Bible study? Is she even capable of understanding the Bible when she reads it for herself? A theological view that attempts to prevent a woman from thinking for herself in spiritual matters is strangely reminiscent of a time in church history when only a certain elite group was allowed to interpret the scriptures.

God wants every man and woman to know Him and have a personal relationship with Him. Every believer has access to the throne of God and the rich promises found in the scriptures. I was once told by someone that God did not create me in His image and that women cannot have as deep a relationship with Him as men.