Enneagram type 1 and 4 relationship deal breakers

Relationship Type 1 with Type 4 — The Enneagram Institute

enneagram type 1 and 4 relationship deal breakers

Information on Enneagram type relations and compatibility can be found at . a deal breaker for me in close friendships or dating relationships. INFJs are known for being perfectionists in relationships. motives and agendas , and this will be a major deal-breaker for them in any relationship. One of the most important things to INFJs is open communication, You can also discover more about the INFJ personality type in my latest eBook, The INFJ. After people learn their own Enneagram type, the next question I invariably If one person is highly self aware and the other isn't, at some point the “The Nine Keys” includes the Enneagram Relationship Theory for all

Though they may not expect their partners to be as intellectually thorough as they are, they need to be paired with someone who wants to learn, advance and grow alongside them. ENTPs are curious, explorative and eager to push boundaries. They approach relationships the way they approach everything else — with curiosity and an unquenchable enthusiasm to learn more.


This type enjoys complicated, multi-dimensional partners who challenge them intellectually. Someone who is consistent to the point of rigidity gives the ENTP nothing to explore and learn from — which means the ENTP will likely tire of them quickly.

enneagram type 1 and 4 relationship deal breakers

ESFJs take their love lives seriously. This organized type always has one eye on the future and they need a partner who can keep up. ISFJs need a partner they can relax with and feel comfortable around — and being a sensitive type by nature, that means they need a partner who cares deeply about both their feelings and the feelings of others.

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Having limits placed on their socializing. ESFPs are the ultimate people-people. This free-spirited type needs to feel connected to a community.

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Being unable to express their true selves. ISFPs are wildly creative and difficult to get to know well. More than anything else, this type wants a partner who takes the time to get to know them on a deep level and accept them exactly as they are. If the ISFP feels uncomfortable or unable to express who they truly are within a relationship, they will see little use in continuing it.

I’m a very healthy 4. I have a lot of unhealthy 2 friends : Enneagram

ESTJs take a pragmatic approach to everything and relationships are no exception. This type wants a partner they can rely on to be loyal, devoted and committed.

enneagram type 1 and 4 relationship deal breakers

Deviance from their personal system of values. Ones think that they are almost always being sensible and objective, while Fours do not try to be "objective"—they want to see things from the subjective, personal side.

The Top Relationship Dealbreaker For Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type

While both bring a kind of idealism to the relationship, it is usually idealism applied to different things. Ones will be idealistic about social causes, morality, politics, and global issues, while Fours are idealistic, even perfectionistic, about aspects of their personal lives—their lifestyle, their mate, and their choice of work.

enneagram type 1 and 4 relationship deal breakers

Both can reinforce each other's sense of superiority, leading to elitism and snobbery toward others. Both can become disdainful and condescending toward those who have less breeding, taste, or sense of refinement—and the habit of being disappointed in others can be turned against each other as well. Both types are ironically highly aware of their impulses, their sensuality, their longings and frustrations, but they both attempt to handle these issues in diametrically different ways.

enneagram type 1 and 4 relationship deal breakers

Thus, one of the biggest areas of conflict between Ones and Fours is in self-discipline versus self-indulgence, between personal and emotional impulses either being acted out Fours or being suppressed Ones.

Ones can begin to see Fours as hopelessly emotional, self-absorbed and self-indulgent, while Fours can begin to see Ones as insufferably rigid, judgmental, and cold. Fours can become as angry, critical, intolerant, and self-righteous as low-functioning Ones, and Ones can become as melancholy, self-pitying, alienated, and depressed as low-functioning Fours. In short, Ones and Fours may end by being disaffected with each other for being the way they are: Both can be unforgiving, keeping scores and remembering long-past hurts.

The relationship can deteriorate into bitter frustration with each other and end as the result of rancorous arguments.